Confidence in who you are comes from three things: knowing who you are, being who you are, and loving who you are. Read on to learn more about confidence and how to get a step-by-step plan to grow your confidence today!
Confidence doesn’t always come easy. Some people are more naturally confident than others, but most people struggle with it at some point.
We live in a society that thrives on comparison—keeping up with the Joneses, seeing how much we can fit into our schedules, adhering to unrealistic beauty standards, expecting a perfect house, and more.
No wonder we question ourselves sometimes!
It’s hard to be confident in who we are when there seems to be so many messages out there about who we’re supposed to be.
But when we’re confident, we’re better able to love the people around us, accomplish our responsibilities, and show up as our best selves!
I’ve spent a couple years diving into confidence–what it means to be confident, how to increase it, what affects it. I’ve learned about comparison, expectations, and how to love who I am. I’ve dug deep and done the work. And my confidence has grown more than I could have imagined!
In February of 2018, I went to my first business conference. I was by myself and knew no one, and I went the entire two-day conference without talking to a single person.
TWO FULL DAYS and I didn’t talk to ANYONE. I looked around at all these stylish, successful, outgoing, talented women and questioned everything about who I was and what in the world I was doing there. Then I walked to classes, sat in the back, took notes, and rushed off to the next class, trying my best not to make eye contact with anyone.
It was brutal. And yes, I went home each night and cried.
Fast forward to March of 2020 (just before COVID-19 started spreading across the US and things began closing down). I attended my fifth business conference–a five-day conference, complete with several meet-ups, parties, and events. I knew a few people I’d met briefly at previous conferences or through Instagram, but I still went alone.
But this time was different. I went to all the nighttime events. I danced for hours at the dance party, surrounded by a crowd of women I’d just met on the dance floor. I walked up to people and introduced myself. I approached women I’d admired online in their businesses and started a conversation. I wore outfits that made me stand out, instead of ones that helped me blend in.
And it was a MUCH better experience! Instead of ending the conference in tears, I ended it feeling empowered and excited and full of joy!
Confidence is a Journey
Yes, negative thoughts still make their way inside my brain sometimes, but it happens way less than it used to, and I’m able to kick them to the curb much quicker.
Confidence isn’t a destination. You don’t just arrive one day and stay forever. It’s a journey, and you’ll fall off the path sometimes and have to find your way back. But with time, practice, and some tips & tricks, it’s possible to dig yourself out of negative thought patters faster and with more self-compassion.
3 Steps to Confidence
I’ve found that confidence in who you are can be broken into three parts:
- Get to know you
- Start to be you
- Learn to love you
Read on to learn a little bit about each one and why I think it’s so important.
Get to Know You
We have access to SO much information these days, and with that, we’re constantly being bombarded with other people’s opinions.
And with these various opinions coming at us at a million miles per hour from any direction at any given point, many of us have lost sight of who we are. We’re too busy trying to be like everyone else.
So step one is getting back to your roots: who are you, really?
I know this sounds kind of weird and obvious, but I think more of us struggle with this than we realize.
I used to think I knew myself really well–I mean, hello, I live inside of me! But, over time, I realized that I’d lost sight of the person I once was.
Once I dug myself out of the vortex of what everyone else thought/felt/did, things started to shift in my life. Which brings us to number two.
Start to Be You
After we figure out who we really are, it’s time to let that girl SHINE without fear of what others will think or say or do. I know, easier said than done, but with practice, it’s definitely possible!
We have to learn to let go of all the comparison and expectations and Instagram worthy moments, and just be ourselves! This is where the magic really starts to happen!
Learn to Love You
And finally, after we start to let our true selves shine, we need to truly love ourselves—faults and all.
Because once we start being ourselves, that little voice inside our heads that likes to tell us we’re weird or different or not enough might get louder. That’s part of the process. But we’ve got to learn to tune it out because the truth is, we are the only one like us. And that’s what makes us so special!
27 Ways to Have Confidence in Who You Are
That’s my process for having confidence in who you are:
- Get to Know You
- Start to Be You
- Learn to Love You
If you want step-by-step help on how to apply this process to your everyday life, check out my 27 Ways to Have Confidence in Who You Are Guide. This guide shares 27 tips (9 for each of the 3 categories) to help you grow your confidence.
In the guide, I walk through each step, explain why it’s important, then tell you how to make it a part of the new, confident you. Many of the steps come with journaling sheets, action plans, or other printable goodies to help you implement what you learned because ACTION is what brings true change.
I don’t just tell you WHAT to do. I show you HOW to do it!
You can learn more about the guide HERE or click on the image below:
Confidence is Possible
It may not seem like it, but confidence is possible! With some concentrated effort, you can learn to love who you are right now. I promise.
So what do you say? Let’s get confident, friends!
What’s your biggest struggle with confidence? Let me know in the comments below!
If you enjoyed this post, check out the following:
- Confidence Quiz: Find Your Inner Disney Princess
- How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
- Unrealistic Expectations We Set for Ourselves