Marriage isn’t always easy. In fact, it takes a lot of intentional effort. But with the help of habits, maintaining a healthy marriage can be a lot easier. Here are 5 habits for a happy marriage.
When marriage is good, it’s really good. But when it’s not, well, life ain’t so fun. Am I right? I’m lucky to have a great marriage (because I’m married to one incredibly selfless man who puts up with my shenanigans 🤷), but we still have to put effort in to keep our marriage happy and healthy.
Here are 5 habits to keep your marriage in a good place:
Kiss Every Day
Okay, not only is this one super helpful in keeping a solid marriage, it’s also really fun. So yes, I’m giving you orders to kiss every day. Woo hoo! Who wouldn’t want that?
And not only kiss every day, but kiss multiple times every day. Kiss when you first wake up. Kiss before you leave for the day. Kiss when you return. Kiss before bed. It’s hard to be mad at someone you’re kissing, and feeling this close connection each day (and throughout the day) will help keep your marriage a priority.
Don’t Be Afraid to be the First to Say, “I’m Sorry”
Saying sorry definitely isn’t the easiest thing to do, but it happens to be really important. So when you fight, say you’re sorry. When you say something you don’t mean, say you’re sorry. When you know you’re in the wrong, say you’re sorry. When you don’t believe you’re in the wrong, still say you’re sorry. Because guess what? The fight probably doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But your relationship does.
Say “Thank You” Often
How often do you tell your spouse, “thanks”? If you’re like me, it’s probably not enough. My husband does a million things for me, and I often forget to show my gratitude. It just becomes the norm for him to go to work to provide for me, to give me back rubs when I’m sore, to get me a glass of water when I’m thirsty. Sure, sometimes I say thank you, but I also forget a lot too.
When we show our gratitude, it forces us to reflect on just how much our loved ones do for us. It also forces us to change our perspective from things that annoy us about our spouse to things we love about our spouse. And that’s an instant marriage saver right there!
Don’t Keep Score
I talked more about keeping score in marriage in a post called One Truth That Will Improve Your Marriage, but the basic gist is that when we keep score, things will never be fair. Why? Because we score our significant other based off of what he’s actually done, but we score ourselves for our thoughts and intentions. So if we’re planning on doing this super romantic gift for our anniversary, we score ourselves for that. If we think positive thoughts about our spouse, but forget to voice them, we score ourselves for those thoughts. But they only get credit for what they actually do–not what they think or plan or want to do. So things will never ever be fair.
Besides, nothing about keeping score is healthy anyway. It will never solve problems. It will never be balanced. It will never make you happy. In fact, it will only do the opposite.
The moral of the story? Don’t keep score. Ever.
Think “What Can I Do For Him?” Not “What Should He Do for Me?”
When we’re thinking about all the things we think our significant other should be doing, we’re always going to be unhappy. Always. Because we’re focusing on a lack. But if we instead direct our focus toward serving our spouse, we will be much happier. Turning our thoughts outward causes gratitude, love, and looking for the good.
What do you to keep your marriage thriving?
For my ideas on how to live your best life, check out the other posts in the Mom Habit Series:
- 5 Habits for a Healthy Motherhood
- 5 Habits to Boost Happiness in Motherhood
- 5 Simple Habits to Boost Self-Love
- 5 Simple Habits to Boost Mom Productivity