Sometimes it’s hard to love who you are when there are so many incredible people in the world. Here are 3 tips for how to stop comparing yourself to others, plus a free workbook with 7 ways to feel more confident.
I’m writing this during the quarantine period of COVID-19, and I feel like this topic is more applicable than ever. In fact, I think it’s so applicable that I created a whole guide around it called 7 Ways to Feel More Confident During Quarantine. You can snag your copy HERE.
We’re all cooped up inside our houses, not interacting with others, which leads me to spend more time on social media than ever before. Plus, by the time the kids are in bed at night, I have no physical or mental energy for anything else.
And the more time I spend on social media, the more often the comparison bug bites me–and the deeper and more painful its bites get. Anyone else?!
Something about seeing these snippets into the lives of the people around me really pulls out my inner mean girl.
- Why can’t I be more like her?
- Maybe I should be doing A, B, C (and while I’m at it, X, Y, and Z).
- I’m not as good of a mom as her.
- I shouldn’t be wasting my time on this.
- Who do I think I am?
And on and on and on.
What Comparison Does
But none of that helps. It doesn’t help me be any better or different. All it does is make me overwhelmed, uptight, and depressed.
Besides, I don’t really need to change all that much anyway. The truth is, nobody does life perfectly.
Plus, nobody else is me. The way I’m living my life is going to look differently than the way everyone else lives theirs, and that’s okay! That’s how it’s meant to be.
Now, of course I want to have goals and something to strive for, but beating myself up and comparing isn’t the way to go about doing so. Goals fought for out of self-hate will never be achieved. Goals should always come from a place of love.
So How Do We Stop It?
This all sounds great in theory, but it’s so hard to stop! There are so many amazing people out there, doing amazing things!, every single day. And when we see those things, a part of us longs to do them too.
So how can we break out of the cycle?
Well, we could hide ourselves away and never get on social media or talk to anyone to ensure we never see how anyone else is living their life….
But that sounds like a pretty miserable life to me!
Instead, here are three tips for how to stop comparing yourself:
1. Focus on What You Do
It’s so easy to get to the end of the day and think about all the things you DIDN’T do. The items left unchecked on your to-do list. The time you didn’t spend playing with your kids. The clean, but unfolded, pile of laundry strewn across your couch.
But how often do we take the time to think about all that we DID do?
Putting the to-do list aside, there are SO MANY things we do on any given day that never make it to a to-do list. Really important things.
- Making a phone call
- Preparing meals
- Cuddling a hurt child
- Kissing our spouse
- Sending a text
- Wiping down the counter
- Changing a diaper
These things matter, but we rarely recognize them or give ourselves credit for them because we’re too focused on all the things we didn’t get to,
Instead of dwelling on the “undones” at the end of the day, take a few minutes to reflect on all the awesome things you did do–no matter how small and simple they were.
2. Limit Your Time on Social Media
Social media has so many amazing benefits!
- It keeps me in touch with loved ones.
- It provides me information, inspiration, and tips and tricks.
- It gives me a space to be creative and to share with others.
- And it’s allowed me to meet so many incredible people I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
But sometimes, it’s a time suck. There’s just no better way to say it.
And the more time I spend on social media, the more I compare and the worse I feel.
Ironically enough, it’s usually on my busiest days or the days when I feel the most “meh” that I spend the most time on social media, which just reinforces the overwhelm and negative feelings.
Instead of spending more time on social media, try taking a social media break. Or just be really intentional about how you spend your time on social media.
3. Take Care of Yourself
It can be really hard to spend time on YOU. You’re too busy taking care of everyone else!
But in order to give your best to others, you have to first take care of yourself so you actually have something to give.
So pick one thing to do for yourself each day that will fuel you and help you be your best you! This doesn’t have to anything grand or extravagant. It just needs to lift you up physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.
- Meditate
- Get enough sleep
- Workout
- Journal
- Take your vitamins
- Prepare an actual meal
- Go for a walk
- Call a friend
There are so many great self-care options out there. If you want some more self-care tips, you can check out these two posts HERE and HERE.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself FREEBIE
I created a free workbook called 7 Ways to Feel More Confident During Quarantine.
Even if you’re finding this after the stay-at-home orders have been lifted, the tips in this workbook will still apply to any time. The examples just might bring you back to April 2020.
If you want more suggestions for how to stop comparing yourself and love who you are right now, fill out the form above.
Britney is a wife and mom with a passion for helping other women see the good inside of them. She loves podcasts, polka dots, and dancing around the kitchen with her family.