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How to stop negative thoughts and be nicer to yourself. Check out these 3 tips and grow your self-confidence today!

Let’s talk a little bit about that negative voice you probably have taking residence inside your head. You know, the one who likes to tell you you’re not enough or that you messed up or point out all your less-than-perfect traits?


She’s not my favorite, but we’ve all got one and she’s probably not going anywhere, so it’s about time we learn how to live with her.

So today I wanted to share 3 tips for how to stop negative thoughts. Try these when your inner mean girl gets louder and kick her out of her happy place so you can get back to yours.

Tip #1: Define

My negative voice likes to tell me things like, “You’re not a good enough ________” or “you’re not good at ______,” or “why can’t you be better at ______.”

You know, statements like:

  • You’re not a good enough mom.
  • You’re not good at cooking.
  • Why can’t you be better at keeping your house clean?
  • You’re not fun enough.

But what does that even mean? What does it mean to be a good enough mom or to be good at cooking or to be fun?

There’s not usually an official definition or checklist of things to do that proves you’re “good” or “enough” in these categories. Our brain just likes to be sneaky and tell us we’re not.

So take a minute to create your own definition of what it means. It can help to look at other people. For instance, let’s take being a good mom. Think about the people in your life whom you consider good moms. What are the commonalities? I’m guessing things like “cooking all organic, made from scratch meals” or “doing themed activities with them everyday” isn’t on the list. It’s probably a lot more generic than that.

And now that you have your own definition of what a good mom is, you can ignore that voice when it tells you you’re not good enough because you didn’t take your kids to the park today (or whatever insecurity popped up) because you know that isn’t a requirement of being a good mom.

Tip #2: Replace

When your inner voice says something mean about you, immediately replace it with a positive thought. Better yet, replace it with 3 positive thoughts.

So when your voice says, “You’re not as organized as her.” Fire back with something like, “Okay,
but I’m really good at cooking, getting to bed on time, and listening.”

This one can be hard and might take some practice. None of us are perfect, but we all have something special to give to the world!

Try coming up with a list of three things you love about yourself now, type it into the notes section on your phone, then whenever your negative voice starts to get loud, you can pull it out and remind yourself of the GOOD within you.

Tip #3: Distract

Sometimes my voice is just too loud, or I’m just too tired to fight back.

When this happens, I like to distract myself and drown that voice out completely. She doesn’t deserve the time of day.

Maybe I put on some music and dance. Maybe I call a friend. Maybe I read a book. Maybe I go play with my kids. Whatever it is, I do something that doesn’t give my brain a chance to think and focus on whatever negative lies my mind is trying to tell me. Putting on an audiobook or podcast is a great way to distract my mind while still getting done the things I need to get done, but it also really helps to go do something fun for a few minutes if I’m able to!

How to Stop Negative Thoughts

That negative voice is always going to be there, but with some training, we can make her quieter, show up less, and be less influential.

What do you do to silence your inner mean girl?

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