As a society of women, we’ve stopped truly loving ourselves. We’ve forgotten how to love ourselves and become afraid of showing ourselves love. That process needs to stop, not just for ourselves, but for our children.
For the past couple of years, I’ve focused on the way we, as a society of women, talk about ourselves. And what I’ve noticed is that we’re actually pretty unkind to ourselves.
When talking with groups of women or texting with friends, I observed just HOW OFTEN this unkind self-talk slipped out. We’d send funny memes about eating too many cupcakes or not being bikini ready. We’d make jokes about how our house looked like a tornado went through it. We’d laugh about our laziness because heaven forbid we sit down and read a book while our kid napped.
It happened all the time.
Our Words Have Power
And while these things were usually said in a joking manner, they affect us. Most jokes are based on truth (or what we perceive as truth), so deep down, a part of us really believes what we’re saying. And the more we voice those things, the more we believe them.
Words are powerful things! When you give lies a voice, they become truth.
The Harsh Reality of this Process
It’s heartbreaking to listen to. Here are these women I love and admire, these women I think are so amazing, and yet they’re constantly putting themselves down and laughing it off. And through this process of paying attention, I started to notice how often I do it too. It’s a habit, and that’s what we’ve become as a society.
I really want to stop the process! I want to change the way we speak about ourselves–not only for myself and my friends, but for my daughter. I don’t want this for her.
Forgetting Ourselves for Fear of Being Conceited
I think a huge part of the problem is that we’ve forgotten how to love ourselves. We’ve forgotten how to tell ourselves “good job!” or “Wow, I’m amazing!” or “I really love ______ about me.” We’ve become afraid to accept a compliment.
I think that’s where a lot of us struggle because we think these things make us conceited. But loving ourselves doesn’t make us conceited! Sure, it’s possible to take things too far, but the problem is that we’ve swung in the opposite direction. Instead of staying away from being conceited, we’ve suddenly become self- deprecating. And that’s a dangerous place to be.
Why We Need Self-Love
How many of us stop and think about how much we love ourselves on a regular basis?
Do you know how much you love yourself? Do you know WHY you love yourself? Do you even know IF you love yourself?
I think a lot of us forget. We forget about ourselves in this process of loving other people and taking care of other people and showing up for other people. But if we want to be able to love and care and show up for the ones we love with our highest capacity, we have to first love and care and show up for ourselves.
We need to not be afraid of loving ourselves!
I’m ready to change. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I know it’s possible. Who’s with me? Comment below with your biggest struggle with self-love.
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Britney is a wife and mom with a passion for helping other women see the good inside of them. She loves podcasts, polka dots, and dancing around the kitchen with her family.